It is Saturday night and time for me to explore the Charles Town Race Track and Hollywood Casino. I must tell you, up front, that I am not much of a casino gambler. The thought of putting money into a machine, pulling the handle to watch drawings of fruit spin and then … doing it all over again, does not appeal to me. Gambling in casinos does not “float my boat” however, the atmosphere does. The sight and sound of acres of slot machines being played, the excited cheering and high-fiveing going on at the crap table, the intimate excitement shared by a small group around a Blackjack dealer. In short, “I love people watching in casinos.”

The Hollywood Casino certainly has every thing you would expect: Live shows featuring top named entertainment, 3500 slot machines, blackjack, craps, roulette, huge poker room, Mini-Baccarat, Pai Gow Poker, 3 excellent restaurants and a crowd of people that seem to be having a great time in a lights flashing, bell ringing atmosphere.

Having completed my binge of people watching and satisfied my hunger at 9 Dragons Restaurant (Oriental food – specializing in Hong Kong cuisine – one of the best I have experienced) I walk thru the casino to the adjacent Charles Town Race Track.

Over 80 years ago the Jefferson County Race Track was established in Charles Town and successfully drew fans from the greater metropolitan area which includes Baltimore and Washington DC. In 1997 Penn National bought the track and began a $175,000,000 Charles Town Race Track renovation and construction of the Hollywood Casino. Much renovation and add-on construction has taken place since then, making the Charles Town Race Track and Hollywood Casino one of the premier gaming venues on the East Coast.

By now you probably realize that I am not much of a gambler however, upon occasion, I will place a small bet at a horse race. I average attending horse races once every 10 years or so and I rarely stay for all the races. I also have a very strict method of handicapping (guide for choosing which horse or horses to bet on) that I will share with you.

1. Always bet on the grey horse. (Usually $2 to Show)
2. If the horse has a name that is funny, nostalgic, uniquely appropriate or in some way “tickles my fancy,” bet on it. (Usually $2 to Show)
3. If the horse takes a crap in the paddock before the race, bet on it. (Mandatory $2 to Win)

This method has proven to be, for the most part, financially unsuccessful but it is a lot of fun. As an example, on the night in question, I arrived at the track just after the 2ed race, got a beer and sat down on the benches outside close to the rail and commenced to “people watch” while enjoying 3 races and 2 more beers. About 15 minutes before post time I noticed on the tote board that there was a horse named “Sergeant Schultz” running in the 6^th race.

Maybe some of you are old enough to remember the late 60’s sitcom “Hogan’s Heroes.” The comedic action took place in a German POW camp during WWII. One of the characters was “Sergeant Schultz” whose favorite line was, “I KNOW NUT-ING.”

A horse called Sergeant Schultz!! That was it for me so I decided to head for the paddock and have a look. Well, as it turned out, Sargent Schultz was a great looking horse and … there was also a grey horse (whose name I can not remember) in the same race. I waited patiently and watched very closely but there was no “pooping” going on. With little time to spare I rushed to the betting window and put $2 on Sergeant Schultz to Show and $2 on the grey horse to Show. I managed to squeeze into a spot on the rail at the finish line as the race began. From the beginning it was looking good. Both my horses were in contention. At the final turn Sergeant Schultz was in 1^st and the grey horse was in 2nd. I was yelling and screaming and really into it as, over the final 50 yards of the race, Sergeant Schultz slipped into 2ed and the grey horse fell to 4^th.

As it turned out, Sergeant Schultz was the favorite and paid $2.20 on my Show ticket and my fourth running grey horse paid “NUT-ING.” With a smile on my face I called it a night and headed to the car. I had bet $4.00 and won $2.20 leaving a net loss of $1.80. It was a great time and I leave you with this thought on horse racing.

“When you are a $2 “bettor” you can afford to have a good time no matter what happens.”